To Those Who Can Relate

Daniel Abudu
3 min readAug 1, 2018
Bonus points if you get why I chose this as the header image.

Ever feel like smacking yourself at the back of your head for being too nice? Sometimes at your own detriment? What’s so hard about considering yourself for a change? Other people seem to be able to achieve that with ease. Why can’t you?

Ever feel frustrated when you consider people and sometimes go out of your way for them and you don’t get half of that back? Or any at all?

You get sad and depressed. Or angry. Maybe all of the above. You start to try to change what is natural for you. You try to be harsher and more rigid.

“What about me?” you ask yourself. “Can’t I do things for myself? Don’t I deserve to be selfish once in while?”

Sometimes you actually succeed. Sometimes your success leaves you in a weird and strange place of . . .guilt? Other times you don’t actually succeed and you’re back to being seemingly too nice for your own good.

Then the cycle continues.

Trust me. I can relate.

My advice?


Stop looking for returns on investments. Stop doing things because of some sort of reward you feel entitled to. It never ends well. Just stop. If you’re going to be nice to someone, don’t do it in a bid to put someone in your debt. Everyone seems to believe that this world operates on give and take. I feel that is too myopic of a view. I can’t allow myself to be trapped in that mindset of only doing things for my own personal gain. No one seems to want to do anything for the sole reason that it is the right thing to do anymore.

Yes,I believe God may reward you in the future for some things you do. And the whole, ‘What you do to others would eventually come back to you’ belief. But I’ve decided to stop telling myself these things as a way of encouragement. It still feeds on my selfishness. Yes, I still stand on my belief that your greatest investment is in people. But you can’t be treating people like business ventures. Life just doesn’t work that way.

The best footprints you leave in this world cannot be gotten by doing things and expecting a good payback. You won’t do much of anything at all.

Yes, some people would forget to thank you.

Yes, some people would behave as though they are entitled to your help.

Yes, some people would use you.

Yes, some people would try to take advantage of you.

Yes, you would be a doormat in the eyes of many.

Yes, you would need to wise up and know when to help and when not to.

But someone’s life would be changed forever because of your gift of empathy. Don’t let the actions of a few people rob that person of the blessing that is you. This world is cold, dark, and cruel. The fact that you can still be good to people in the midst of all that is going on in the world right now is a miracle and a gift.

Don’t let your light get snuffed out. Some people genuinely need it.



Daniel Abudu

Still figuring out a lot of things in my life, like what exactly I'll use this "Medium" to do.